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woensdag, 13 december 2006



Yeah!!! DJ VDL! Bad that we cannot see enough the left side man...
sarkonvivialité oblige...


Hi, here is the REAL photography with no changes...


I respect where you are cnimog from, but I will never be able to act from this perspective. I suppose what surprised me the most is that you picked one of the most expensive restaurants I've been to and ordered a whole gamut of appetizers (which weren't cheap).We live our entire lives to give. We got a bigger place so we could accommodate friends and other nomadic hackers like yourself so you could stay in SF without paying through the nose. We probably pay an additional $500/month so we can offer that. We give our office space to travelers as well as charge a very modest fee for keyholders so that they have affordable space.And we are not wealthy. We are consultants and this month we haven't been paid by many of our clients so are struggling to make ends meet. But that doesn't change our attitude.I always assume that if I'm going to a birthday dinner that the collective is paying for the birthday person (even the one time we went to an 8 person meal where two of them were celebrating a birthday, one who we didn't know and the bill came to $140 each lol we thought twice about accepting multi-person birthday dinners after that!).I don't think it's a European thing. The French have been more than generous each time we've been there. They embarrass us with their generosity. We did notice that in Germany there was the individual bill thing, but they started the meal by saying, no shared appetizers when I suggested it. They were clear from the outset that we would get separate meals and bills.It is an individualist vs. collectivist thing and I don't think Europe is of one mind on this. I also think that health care and other social programs are usually somewhat telling (San Francisco is actually very different than the US and the city is actually bringing in universal health). I'm a Canadian, so I was raised as a collectivist.I don't believe it's about the money. It's never about the money. Hell, I guarantee you that last night the difference between what people consumed and spent would have been under $10. It's about fundamental beliefs. The group's imposition versus the individual's will. I'm sorry that you've gotten the short end of the stick in days gone by. That is wrong. You don't have very observant friends.As for the 'don't dine out' thing, I don't agree with that. However, it is up to someone on a budget to request from friends that you go somewhere reasonable, then to explain at the beginning of the meal (not when the bill comes) where you are cnimog from. I know that sucks, but good friends are cool with that.But I think we are probably just going to have to agree to disagree on this point. We just come from two entirely different points of view.


I don't like splitting the bill evelny for the very simple fact that I usually never consume the kind of thing others do and while I may feel like inviting somebody else, I am not comfortable doing that in a normal condition.I don't drink wine, I don't drink alcohol, but I do drink a lot of water, usually at least one or two, and if I find something nice on the menue I like to order more but as I am picky too, it may very well be that I choose only a very limited small selection. Or something really expensive.Either way, I am usually always NEVER with what the rest of the crowd does, either I am using up much more, or much less than the rest.I could make a smiley face and say I don't care, but I do. I could be nice and just swallow it up, but I won't because I see no reason to.I agree with Stephanie on that if everybody pays, that is taking advantage of, and more than once I have overheard those happy yeah we like to share and it is great!!! people afterwards grumpling about how X did have so much more. It is fake in many cases.It is a good reminder though to pay attention to group' habbit and make things clear in the beginning.Something I feel comfortable with for example is a combined thing I pay my share first (remember, this being either much more or much less) and the rest can go for a shared meal if they like, I do not mind that at all.If this makes the rest of the group uncomfortable I am sorry, but I rather am at peace with myself than just make somebody else comfortable. Tara's argument of oh but that is just greedy individualism whereas the other one is cool collective does not go with me either IN THIS SPECIFIC case.Collective for me is not about being made equal all the time, but for me to have a choice and an agreement with the group I am in that this is the direction how we all think is good to go. There has to be compromise on both side usually, which is fine, but that is about it.In this specific case just reading how it worked I would have expected from you to pay for the starters, since you ordered it (my perspective: usually resulting in a lot of stuff I have no interest in eating) and after that it is up to everyone to organize themselves.The cultural side of it being that you pay for the birthday girl over here it is more responsibility for the host to invite everybody is another dimension to it.To sum it up it is not easy and needs talking. But there is not the case of my way is the only one which is the correct one .


Yep, somebody else reocmmended it to me too. I'm familiar with google forms so sticking with them for this job, but will look at what wufoo has to offer for my other clients at some point!


Wat een prachtige meeitfjos, Annelies, heeft een 'luchtige' uitstraling.En je huisje: leuk, met die achtergrondstof ook op de randjes van het huisje. Ga je ze allemaal blauw maken?Groetjes,


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